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The House of Intellectual Humanities Forum Index -> Adolescent Analogies -> The Ugliness Of Love
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Jr W
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Sat Apr 21, 2007 10:55 pm
PostPost subject: The Ugliness Of Love Reply with quote

I am talking however about getting over it. It's all well and good to love, but how the fuck do you get over the ending?
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Wilkins
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Sat Apr 21, 2007 11:02 pm
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Cannibal Corpse- Hammer Smashed Face Wink

It takes a lot of time and resisting your emotions being severed too much. There is no real remedy. Its a perseverence thing.
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Sun Apr 22, 2007 9:32 am
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From what i've read, and ...mmyeah, time is the only thing. Disassociation to the feelings and stuff that you have felt, I guess. But, I really have no idea. Ask lukas, he has experiece:P
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Kung-Fu



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Sun Apr 22, 2007 11:16 am
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I think there's a few factors:

- how strong you are mentally
- how strong you are emotionally
- time

I was going to go in-depth with that. But my brain is being effected by flu and so I'm not thinking properly, and I didn't make sense with what I typed.
I'll come back to this...
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dosthecat



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Sun Apr 22, 2007 12:13 pm
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human love is a failure, sad but true. why else does it make you feel like shit afterwards?

god's love... it doesn't compare.

so yeah, if you can't get over the hurt, just re-focus on the saviour, get outta that mirey clay.

ooh yeah, calvary broke the power, not only of death and all that other stuff, but it broke the power of our past. yesterday is gone, it has no power over me.
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inf0rm3r
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Sun Apr 22, 2007 2:45 pm
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For me

My music patterns change often increased speeds and more violence Razz
Endless hours of sof2.
Forgiving the person despite how hard it is (takes time) after ive pictured every physical way of them dying Razz

I don't think its got to do with how mentally and emotionally strong you are. Otherwise I'd be well down the shithole.
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Sun Apr 22, 2007 3:59 pm
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I quite agree with you Ben in all regards in that post. Very good. I have also pictured people in all regards to various forms of death (that I commit). I shall not go there, I'm not that way anymore. But you can not emotionally prepare yourself for a severe let down from somebody you held in really high regards.

There are moments that you go "yes, I am over him/her". But there WILL be numerous times when you have let your guard down, and little thoughts of them reminding you of their good attributes sneak in. Then your back to square one.
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Sun Apr 22, 2007 4:35 pm
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After my previous experience im completely over even bothering or caring anymore. If they really think I'm such a good person, I'll sit back and wait they can come to me. I'm sick of getting oh your such a great friend bullshit. Stop lying and say it straight.

Quiet frankly I'm over trying to get anywhere and don't see the point. I don't believe many girls at this age have the maturity to know what they want. Their off in their own little perfect world. Also we probably don't either.

When they grow up and figure out what they want and have some maturity with situations and perhaps learn to appreciate anything then they can come and speak to me. If one comes to me I might contemplate changing but other then that I'm not going to bother.

I'm just going to sound downright selfish here but I don't care and I'm not interesting in any of your replies or oh get over it. I'm just stating what I feel and what I'm doing. I'm going to focus on myself and where I'm going in life and my plans to takeover the world. Teenage relationships only cause pain from everything I've experienced, seen and heard. They aren't worth the trouble.

Girls are good as friends and its good to have a female insight and a good female friend, but soon as anything more gets involved it doesn't last long at all and shit hits the fan.

Now for the people that are in relationships. Don't aruge I'm not going to respond cause I don't give a rats. I'm happy for you, goodluck. I'm aware a very small percentage may actually work out. But it's not enough to convince me to make any effort.

I don't give a shit what anyone says about my post at this point in life I think you should focus on more important things then a girlfriend that 99% of the time is going to cause problems in the end.

As I said this is my opinion and I'm not interested if you think I'm wrong.
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dosthecat



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Sun Apr 22, 2007 4:59 pm
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yeah... i don't really think it's much of a good idea to go about imagining people's deaths deliberately. there are less destructive ways of coping, y'know, and maybe it works for you, but maybe it's quietly fucking up your mind...
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inf0rm3r
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Sun Apr 22, 2007 5:08 pm
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Nothing wrong with taking venting your anger in a gaming situation. It saves you from venting it onto the person thats hurt you and create a worser situation. I do anything to prevent me from abusing the person who is at fault and if its blowing heads off in a game, I'm happy.

But yea. Chris work on forgiving the person. It usually solves it. I know it takes time. ALOT of time it can be many months. But eventually ull be able to do it. Ask god he helps.

As for the noobs who always say GET over it, oh its not that bad etc. Ignore them they have no idea. Burying your hurt is one of the worst things you can do.
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dosthecat



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Sun Apr 22, 2007 5:21 pm
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yeah, there's a reason why they call it a healing 'process', i guess...

digging it into a hole, not a process. talking it over=process. forgiving them=process. i could think of more, but i need to get ready for josh/church.
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Sun Apr 22, 2007 9:26 pm
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Females and males, have very similar emotions.... I used to think that we were from completely different planets, so.... yeah, but now...Its different I think. That was a decent post Ben, I have a lot to say to it, but, hell...its not worth it. The only thing that is great is when your girlfriend is your best friend too.
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I am Mario!



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Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:08 pm
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Ben wrote:
After my previous experience im completely over even bothering or caring anymore. If they really think I'm such a good person, I'll sit back and wait they can come to me. I'm sick of getting oh your such a great friend bullshit. Stop lying and say it straight.


They say that you're a great friend because you are. And usually they just don't want to hurt you too much, and sometimes you just interpret what they say the wrong way.

Ben wrote:

But yea. Chris work on forgiving the person. It usually solves it. I know it takes time. ALOT of time it can be many months. But eventually ull be able to do it. Ask god he helps.


Have you been doing the same or have you just been getting angry? Remember what vicki said at p/w night a few thursdays ago about anger, we've all been tested.

Adam wrote:

The only thing that is great is when your girlfriend is your best friend too.


Turns out that that doesn't even work that well in the end, maybe it's possible to be too good as friends to go out.

Chris wrote:
I am talking however about getting over it. It's all well and good to love, but how the fuck do you get over the ending?


That's a good question, and I don't know the answer, it's different for everyone in every situation.

Some people like to pick a song that makes them feel better, I accidentally found Grace Kelly :p .

I guess one of the hardest things is just trying not to make the other person feel bad. I'm having a rough time at the moment, but as far as Jariah knows I'm just a little bit upset but it hasn't affected me too much and I still regard her as a great friend.

In a sense she is right, but I'm just not dealing with it as well as she thinks. I guess one of the things about being broken up with by someone you loved (here we go with love, I'm not even sure myself at the moment, there was a point that I definitely did love her though) the most important thing is to not upset them or make them feel bad, I don't want to hurt her, so I'm just hiding it from her.

But yeah Chris like Ben said, God helps, he's helped me a lot, you might've noticed that I'm not that angry Razz .

As for Jariah and stuff, it's still awkward spending time with her, for the moment I just need to make an effort to talk to her and bring things back to the way they were before we went out. I'll probably like her for a long time though, I get the feeling she's thinking that I'm starting to have moved on already though, ah the joys of being an actor.
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Mon Apr 23, 2007 8:01 pm
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There's nothing wrong with being angry bud.

Quote:
They say that you're a great friend because you are. And usually they just don't want to hurt you too much, and sometimes you just interpret what they say the wrong way.


Thats bs. Its just a quicker way of getting rid of someone.
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Mon Apr 23, 2007 8:33 pm
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Once again, I have the perfect view of the situation from here. Let me tell you that Becky really didn't mean to hurt you!!! She asks if you're Ok everytime we talk.

And talk to Vicki about anger, I don't remember much of the sermon on our P/W marathon straight off my head but anger isn't all it's cracked up to be if you can't control it.
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Jr W
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Mon Apr 23, 2007 8:51 pm
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I've heard the same BS too. It's rubbish.
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Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:01 pm
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Oh i got perfect control of it bud. I didn't say a thing to her I just left it. So please leave me be.
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Mr Mittens
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Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:32 pm
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Quote:
There's nothing wrong with being angry bud.
There's plenty wrong with being angry... Its effecting you and its effecting everyone that hears about it. I've had a few people ask me 'whats going on with Ben? He's being weird lately.' I just had your parents and the Todds over here talking things through because of that anger...

Quote:
Oh i got perfect control of it bud. I didn't say a thing to her I just left it. So please leave me be.
If you have perfect control over the anger and the situation and everything then why are you still holding onto it?! You didn't say a thing to her but still you always say things ABOUT her... thats not letting it be. Becky is still a friend to me and Josh and we dont want to hear about ways that you're going to get back at her and everything. It was fun at the start but you seem to be taking this far too seriously. I've heard both sides of this story and she honestly wants all of this to go away. She's sorry for how things turned out and wishes that it all never happened like this. I talked to you all about this last night and im just hoping that you believed me with it all.

I'm not telling you to go and be friends or anything to her, you dont even have to talk to her for the rest of your life. Just drop the hate since its not benefitting a single person. Mann up and move on.
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dosthecat



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Tue Apr 24, 2007 5:26 pm
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Ben wrote:
Thats bs. Its just a quicker way of getting rid of someone.


Jr W wrote:
I've heard the same BS too. It's rubbish.


yeah, so have i. and i've had from two different types of people, there's the type that means it and the type that doesn't give a shit.

i don't know much about becky, but looking on, she doesn't seem to have anywhere near the same amount of 'issues' as the person chris may-or-may-not have been talking about.

Quote:
Just drop the hate since its not benefitting a single person.


something familiar about that idea. 'drop it', or something...
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Jr W
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:00 pm
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You're all very quick to jump on Ben and tell him what to do. You are all selfish. You want him to stop? Why? Because it annoys you? You're giving him "constructive" criticism. But to what end? Because it's what's best for him? Maybe. But also, because it's makes him more bearable for you.

You don't like the anger? Ask him about it, rather than tell him what to do. You're suggesting ways for him to get over it, but doesn't everyone have their own way? Anger just might be his. Maybe he enjoys it. But you don't so you jump on it.

And as to not benefitting a single person, maybe it benefits him?
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Kung-Fu



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Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:38 pm
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I do understand where you're coming from Chris, everyone does have their own way of coping. But how does him swearing at everyone and everything benefit him? Just makes his surroundings negative. Surrounding yourself in negativity doesn't fix a thing, I can say that from experience.

Now, instead of talking ABOUT Ben, I'll talk TO him.

Ben,
I really think you should stop, calm down a bit, and think about why you're so angry. Is it really worth it? Venting your feelings is good, but don't let the anger control you. I think we all know what it's like to have someone we liked a lot, just throw our feelings back in our faces. But we all have to move on. If we continue to linger on the past - the things that are uncontrollable, then we'll never get anywhere. I'm not sure if it's JUST the Becky thing that's been bothering you lately, I'm just assuming it is...

Please Ben, the swearing was funny at the start... but now it's just scaring me, 'cause I just feel like you're losing it. And I don't want you to.

I'm not sure if anyone has said any of the above to you yet. I can't be bothered to read through all the posts again to see...
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:39 pm
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It's Debbie. Yes I'm lazy shut up. (lolz, cunt)

That's really rude of you Chris. Saying that everyone is selfish. Geez.

You're only considering Ben's feelings here. Poor Becky would be feeling pretty bad. She didn't want to end her friendship with Ben, but was forced to because she didn't want the relationship to progress.

*waits for Ben's attack*


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Jr W
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:45 pm
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Eliza once again, you're saying this because it's scaring you.

The selfishness is not at 'attack' more of a think about what you're doing. Once again though, two sets of orders.
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:47 pm
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And a nice pair of Garden shears.
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:53 pm
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Chris wrote:
Eliza once again, you're saying this because it's scaring you.


Yes, it's scaring me. I get scared when I see my friends lose it. Because I know that they're unhappy. And I don't know what they'll do, or what they're capable of. All I want is to see Ben happy, not angry.

Is that so wrong?
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:58 pm
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Quote:
*waits for Ben's attack*


Good try bud.
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:00 pm
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I'm not angry that she didn't want anything. Im pissed at the way she handled it. k thanks bye.
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Mr Mittens
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:01 pm
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Double post! Double post!
People make mistakes, get over it. I'm going to go watch big brother now <3
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:10 pm
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Noo.... no one is that mindless.
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Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:51 pm
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some people cope with 'problems' by becoming sad, and sad leads to clinically depressed (not the pretend kind), and before you know it you've got a blade in one hand, and you're losing alot of blood.

some people don't know any other way of coping other than by cutting themselves. the wounds heal, the blood regenerates, but the scars remain; a grim reminder. we don't all use razors, or scissors, but we all have scars from where we've been hurt. sometimes it's deliberate, sometimes its a case of self-neglect, sometimes it's completely accidental, an act of god so to speak. and unless it's the third option, you have the option of doing something about it.
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