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Wilkins
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Joined: 30 May 2006
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Location: What?
Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:10 pm |
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5 July
Wake up call!
Around 1 or 3 am this morning, I was woken my a strange dream. This dream had no images, scenery, people or anything like that. It was more like a thought. This thought that came to my head was a date. I have no idea what this date means, but the date was March 29, 2010. Just after that, I woke up shakey. I instantly thought that it had something to do with the rapture or tribulation... something like that. Possibly a date of something really important, like a death or a birth. Possibly marriage. Who knows, I do know that God does reveal huge things in dreams.
I won't be screaming to people that the world is going to end on this date or anything like that. Because I could get in to major trouble for false prophersy. I don't want that. But that, just coming in a dream like that is really weird, and something that I might keep hold of for future reference. It'll be interesting to see what happens when that day comes.
Last night (4th July), we got news that my mum's mum passed away from a heart attack, and now mum is considering whether to go down to the funeral, and that means a bitchy family.
Have a nice day. Don't get all suss about the date. We'll see.
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Mr Mittens
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Thu Jul 05, 2007 7:26 pm |
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hmm, write down that date somewhere. It's freaking ages away but something big *might* happen on that date anyways. I'm not going to run down the streets with arms in the air doing spaghetti motions proclaiming its the end of the world, its probably something thats not that big in itself, but will have a big impact on others.
Or maybe i'm looking into it too much.
My dads down at his dad's funeral this very moment. Life works in weird cycles sometimes :\ Well Matty, you seem good at the moment but if you want to talk about it, you have all of us. We're here for you brother, just like you're there for us.
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Wilkins
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Thu Jul 05, 2007 7:34 pm |
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Nah, I'm perfectly ok with it. I only saw her once. I'm more freaking out about the slaggy remarks by the backstabbers if mum goes down to the funeral. If mum gets offended one more time from these people (some family) I will knock every single one of them in the face until their teeth are in my hands.
But yeah, I'm cool with it. Thanks for the warm shoulder Mittens 
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Wilkins
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Wed Jul 11, 2007 5:03 pm |
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11 July
There's something out there!
Yeah, today was school... I've got cricket tonight at 8:30pm.
Last night (not listening to Full metal Racket) I wrote a song, that is yet to be titled. I like it, it's one of my favourites.
| Untitled Track wrote: | | Beyond the realm of imagination. Incomprehendble by man. Realm of disintergrated limits. The body a cocoon. The mind a barrier. The world a grave. Time a restraint. Human Condition hinders us from fathoming such a place. A place that is near, but far away. Outside of time. |
What do you think? Wormed (a brutal death metal band) and their vocalist Phlegton kinda inspired to me to wrote that song.
/blog
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Last edited by Wilkins on Wed Jul 11, 2007 5:09 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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upendy
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Wed Jul 11, 2007 5:09 pm |
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The lyrics look pretty great to me.
Keep up the awesome work, Wilkins  . |
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Wilkins
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Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:02 pm |
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14 July
Self disgust
I've come to realise over the last couple of days that I am worse than what I thought. I have come to realise that people can not do anything useful without the help and guidance of God. Even then we don't listen or take notice. We can talk a talk of "oh, we are going to be loving towards others" but when the situation arises we are as bad as the ones causing the crap. Yesterday afternoon, Andrew picked us up, and we drove from school. Walking across the road was that Riki cheesecake guy, he goes "ohh, theres 10 foot [half inch dick]" . Instead of ignoring him, I put my arm out the window and gave him the finger and told him to "fuck up". Then Andrew sped off.
Pride is a thing that we all need to deal with. Pride can kill us in many different ways. Whether it is not wanting to lose in an argument, so you offend people the most to make you look bigger. Or anything else. Pride kills us. We need to try and not just humble ourselves in church (getting on knees etc), but we need to be humble outside of church and in our schools and such.
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:14 pm |
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Yeah, I agree.
That's something I have been wanting to control lately.
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upendy
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Sat Jul 14, 2007 2:22 pm |
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That got me thinking. Pride is stupid. But it's hard to get rid of.
Good blog, keep 'em coming. |
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Wilkins
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Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:05 pm |
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16 July
How can somebody think of themselves like this?
Over the last couple of days, infact over the last couple of years, I have felt like I am away from God and his love. I feel like that whatever God is and what He stands for, I am not. I even feel that I don't love Christ, just have a knowledge of the Bible.
Also, I have felt that I am worthless and I am crap. I feel like I am not important. I want to feel important internally, I want to feel love from Christ. I want to love Christ. I hate me and myself. It isn't one of them "oh, you are a dumb person". It is a feirce hate of myself. About me and the shit I cause to myself and my loved ones. And it's like a huge internal contradictory battle.
I don't feel that you guys actually understand what I am feeling, so I wrote a song about me and my current state of mind.
| Smashed. Septic. Malignant wrote: | Feelings of human excerment on the heart.
The mouth revealing what is inside.
Feces on my faces is what I see. It is what I feel.
My body riddled with a cancer of pride.
Maliginancy.
Christ's love is what I'm taught.
It is not what I feel.
Such a hatred towards others.
Those who are immature, those who mock.
I don't want to feel such hatred.
It is overwhelming.
Dreams and thoughts of violence and death infect.
I don't want them.
Hatred's intensity is crushing me internally.
Hatred toward authorities God has put in place.
I can't respect. I try. They fail.
Even though I know Jesus died, rose and lives.
The love He gives me I can't return.
I can sense Him and see Him by his works in others, but I can't see Him in me.
I feel ex-communicated from God's live and peace.
I know I shoukd do something.
I don't know what.
I need to find a way to escape my internal septic system.
Not sure where to go.
Smashing myself internally against a brick wall. |
There you go.... Comments and such
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Kung-Fu
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Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:05 pm |
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Very touching lyrics Wilkins.
I wish I knew what I could do to help, but I think it's between you and God to sort out.
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Wilkins
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Sat Jul 21, 2007 8:34 pm |
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Yeah well... I had a talk with Norman, and I realised that the loser that we call Satan threw me a curve ball of confusion. He led me to believe that there was a problem where there was not one.
C.I.T.D.C w00000000000h! \m/
Grind Satan's head... Your battle is lost! Jesus has victory over your infernal arse! DIE!
*walks over Satan's bloodied carcass*
21 July
Number 26... BOOYEAH!
I applied for jobs today and just a short while back I got an email requesting an interview for a position at McDonald's in Goodna lol. It's the highest position on Earth, but I'm not complaining. But the email etc screwed up, so I need contact the manager of Goodna McDonald's to arrange the interview (within the next 7 days).
Praise the Lord that we got this far, and let's see what is made of this aye . If God wants me to get it, I shall get it. If not... move on and find another one.
But praise God and lets see what is made of this. Lord I pray that I get this job, I need one. Amen
C.I.T.D.C!
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:40 pm |
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Good luck bro!
The more moneys you get, the more t-shirts you can buy! Ahaha, joking.
And yay for the realization and stuff with the enemy.
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Wilkins
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Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:05 pm |
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23 July
My last blog, screw the lot of you
Tomorrow, I'm going for my interview at McDonald's at around 4pm.
As for the rest of it, it seems that the rest of you here are all caught up in all your own lives to even care or bother about others who are going through a lot of crap. I've gone through a lot of crap (like above), and only one member here has even bothered helping me out.
I post really important stuff in my blogs, really important stuff and it seems crap like vaccum cleaners and burning CDs is more important than my really crappy situations
You all expect me to help you all out and whatnot but when it comes to me and I need help, you won't have nothing of it.
I'm done helping you all (except you Eliza), you want me to help and pray for you, you have to help others for them to help you.
Adios and get screwed
ps: you probably won't even respond 
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upendy
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Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:15 pm |
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I've been listening to you. I've been praying for you. As much as I try, that's all I can do for people at this time, sorry that it isn't enough. I know I'd be angry if I was in your situation. So I don't blame you.
But seriously. Would you honestly give a stuff if I tried to help you? If the answer is actually yes, then I'm truly sorry for not saying anything more, I really am, I just really suck at helping with stuff.
You'll probably ignore this, but oh well. I'll keep praying for you Wilkins. Sorry I can't do more. |
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Wilkins
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Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:29 pm |
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I'd love to know that I was supported when I am going through crap for sure. And yes Penny it'd be a great help if I knew that I had help when I needed it.
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Mon Jul 23, 2007 8:43 pm |
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I know how you feel sometimes Wilkins.
Also, I know that I'm not always online, or at school when you need to talk, but whenever I am, you know I'm all ears for you bro.
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Lolli[pop]ian
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Mon Jul 23, 2007 9:50 pm |
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I never have any idea when people need support or when they're going through something - everyone seems fine at school. Why do people hide things at school with their friends but post blogs on the internet about their troubles?
And for me personally, I don't do things for people or support people just so I get it in return when I'm having problems...it's a selfless thing.
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Mr Mittens
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Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:16 pm |
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Maybe because you don't need us? The support is nice but its not benefitcial, you can somehow cope without always needing someone to dump everything on. I don't know how some people can do that, but you're one of them and its commendable.
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dosthecat
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 2111
Location: Ippie, QLD
Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:18 am |
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shane, i used to bottle shit up, it only works for so long. the bottle overflows, and you end up with lyrics like those ones.
debbie, i'd have to agree with that post... i don't post any of my big problems on here, i take them to my mates, or i take it to god, depending on the problem...
wilkins, try your best to get to thursday night yeh? crash at my place if you need. i've got uniforms you can borrow for friday, too... i think in a time like this the best thing you can do is spend some time in god's presence. |
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Ads
gtfo - cc
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3778
Location: Wherever the voices tell me.
Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:02 pm |
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The way I see it is, if its not good enough to tell your mates at school, there isn't really any point in hiding it on the interwebs. Its obvious we all have problems, but hiding on the internet just seems a bit stupid. If you really know your mates, you know they're willing to do bloody anything to help you. If you want mature, realistic advise chat one on one with a mate, I guarantee you that they'll try their best to help.
But hey.. if you choose to over-look people who are genuinely willing to help you. Go ahead and do it. Because, it seems thats what everyone does to me. Just look straight over me, because I couldnt' possible have anything worth of sense or maturity to offer you... I'm just here for the shits and giggles, yo.
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Burn the Wich!
Compatible tongues
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Mr Mittens
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Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:21 pm |
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| Ads wrote: | | Just look straight over me, because I couldnt' possible have anything worth of sense or maturity to offer you... I'm just here for the shits and giggles, yo. |
And I'm the doormat, come to me if you need some advice
By advice i mean someone to dump your problems on if I asked or not but its ok because you'll probably be happy in the end anyways
But you had a problem and you didn't come to me? This is too much of a paradox that my head just needs to explode.
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Ads
gtfo - cc
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Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:39 pm |
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I'm sorry?
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Burn the Wich!
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-Semi-
Joined: 01 Jul 2007
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Location: Neverland
Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:40 pm |
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Aye man, hang in there, i'm not much help when it comes to problem's but hey if ya wanna talk gimme a yell cause i'm always up for it. Hold in there Wilkin's =]
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Quoth The Raven "Nevermore"
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Mr Mittens
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Tue Jul 24, 2007 9:54 pm |
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Oops, that wasn't directed at you - It was a general statement how we're all getting screwed by eachother.
I've been watching CM Punk promos as well, sorry guys ^_^
Wilkins, we're ready for you if you're ready to face yourself.
Come get us
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dosthecat
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
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Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:43 am |
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i wouldn't say we're all getting screwed by each other... can't really think of anyone that never contributes, so we all have a part.
personally i enjoy the occasional deep n meaningful, unless it's a problem that's just over the top, teenage stupid... something...
so we've leanred that if you don't keep your pants on, elliott can't help you with the consequences, because he'll just get turned into a gibbering idiot that continually spouts "that's naughty!" and assorted generic caring phrases. |
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Wilkins
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Fri Jul 27, 2007 6:02 pm |
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| Email wrote: | Dear Matthew,
It is with great pleasure that we welcome you as a new employee to McDonald's |
It goes to show that God's timing is prime
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Fri Jul 27, 2007 6:06 pm |
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Congratulations bro!
MONEYS!
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upendy
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Fri Jul 27, 2007 6:14 pm |
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Woop!!
Awesome! |
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That Guy
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 821
Fri Jul 27, 2007 10:24 pm |
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good on ya im happy for you
hooray 1 more person to get me a job there when im of age :p
but yeh who is to say gods timing is whack? his timing is perfect
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Wilkins
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Thu Aug 09, 2007 5:42 pm |
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9 August
Aegroto
Today was fine, until Geography. I did something really irresponsible, heartless, dumb. I hurt Joel Proffke. Not just a I hit him, but I did something to his heart (he had a heart operation before). I now feel like crap, I feel like throwing up because I feel so bad. I could have killed him. I put my integrity in danger, I put Mr Fynes-Clinton in hot water. I have caused trouble in his family.
Mr Fynes is going to help me (so he said).
I am really sorry to those who witnessed it, I'm sorry to Joel. I'm sorry to the school. I'm sorry to God for having to deal with such a tosser and a dick as me.
Don't pray for me, I don't deserve it. Pray for Joel's health and his recovery.
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