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That Guy
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 821
Sun Jul 01, 2007 12:50 pm |
 Post subject: forgiveness |
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well yesterday my dad was being a drunk idiot and he was getting angry at me and i said to myself i forgive you but then i realised, if you forgive somebody you dont bring it up again and id done that lots of times, forgiven my dad then gotten all angry at him about it later.
thats not how it works when you forgive somebody you dont bring it up again its forgotten like its never happened and i realised i still hvent properly forgiven him and im having a hard time doing it .
forgiveness is not just something that you say to somebody its a constant thing that you keep forgiving them every time they cross you and if you can do that on a daily basis you will never be sad 
but that is just my view on things id like yours
keeping a grudge is easy, forgiving is hard
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Mr Mittens
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Joined: 02 Jun 2006
Posts: 1500
Location: Ireland
Sun Jul 01, 2007 1:51 pm |
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That's spot on Robbie I honestly couldn't put it any better.
| Quote: | | forgiveness is not just something that you say to somebody its a constant thing that you keep forgiving them every time they cross you and if you can do that on a daily basis you will never be sad |
That'd a perfect example. I personally find it very hard to forgive people when its something really big. I can easily forgive the little things but when its something big I find it hard to let go of that grudge. It's something I have to work on.
But I completely agree with you Robbie, that's how i see forgiveness.
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dosthecat
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 2111
Location: Ippie, QLD
Mon Jul 02, 2007 8:49 pm |
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i don't think you should ever truly forget the bad things people do to you, but yes, on an emotional level you should basically feel about them the same way as you did beforehand.
because, on a cognitive level there's always so much to learn from other people's mistakes, and alot of the time the mistakes we make in our reactions...
(guess who i'm thinking about as i post this and you WIN!) |
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That Guy
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 821
Mon Jul 02, 2007 8:52 pm |
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nina!
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Ads
gtfo - cc
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3778
Location: Wherever the voices tell me.
Mon Jul 02, 2007 8:59 pm |
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I know exactly how you feel there Robbie, word for word, emotion to emotion.
| Robbie wrote: | | well yesterday my dad was being a drunk idiot and he was getting angry at me and i said to myself i forgive you but then i realised, if you forgive somebody you dont bring it up again and id done that lots of times, forgiven my dad then gotten all angry at him about it later. |
I often find myself in the same situation, drunken, abusive father getting angry at not only myself but everyone else in the house hold, you say to yourself that you're willing to forgive him on the basis that he is your father. But, I struggle to find myself calling him 'dad' anymore its just been stretched so much. If it was anyone else it would be in our mindset to block them out in all future references, but because you have to live with them, because you rely on them (per say) you find yourself having to forgive them.
I agree with you there, if you find yourself always forgiving them the issue will never be resolved, which is sad but true. Especially when the same thing keeps on happening and you foolishly let it happen. I find if things start to get too much, you need to take a few days to yourself, if you have any relatives or good friends around... ask if you can stick around to clear your head out and settle down. Trust me, I've been in this situation far too much. I find it all too easy to keep petty grudges, I have the ability to keep them up for almost a whole entire year. But, when it comes to family its just that little bit harder, especially when you have to face them on a daily basis.
Robbie, I dont know the exact situation that you are in at the moment but if you are particularly close to your mother (I assume you all live together), that you suggest (If he's abusive to your whole family) that there will be "No alcohol for a month". Because, every weekend for almost a month was a riot in my 'house', there would be nights where everyone would be up until after 3am, shit.. I even called the police at one stage. Its not an easy thing to do, but...if you can find a way to prevent things from happening, by all means do it. Just think about the repercussions though, images of your father being handcuffed in a police car aren't too good. So, think long, hard and logically.
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That Guy
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 821
Fri Jul 06, 2007 10:03 pm |
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well ive decided i didnt write this thread
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Ads
gtfo - cc
Joined: 30 May 2006
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Location: Wherever the voices tell me.
Fri Jul 06, 2007 11:26 pm |
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And it seems and if my advise is null and void.. there it goes again, a bit like myself, falling in the background and shadows where nothing is cared about. I just thought that I'd try and help you there, but go on.. seek it from somewhere else, someone who actually means something. I just wanted to try and help someone...but, I can't even do that.
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Fri Jul 06, 2007 11:35 pm |
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Ah, he is human.
Now you know how I feel a lot.
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Lolli[pop]ian
Site Admin
Joined: 19 Jun 2006
Posts: 1083
Location: Boooval
Sat Jul 07, 2007 11:02 am |
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| That Guy wrote: | | well ive decided i didnt write this thread |
Did you read Adam's post Robbie?
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That Guy
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 821
Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:04 pm |
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lol not what i was talking about yes i did read it i read it a few times but after i read it i stopped posting a bit and it did help.
and i just decided i didnt write all that up there^ because its too intelegent for me i reckon someone hijacked me and wrote it for me
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dosthecat
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 2111
Location: Ippie, QLD
Sat Jul 07, 2007 3:38 pm |
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| Ads wrote: | | And it seems and if my advise is null and void.. there it goes again, a bit like myself, falling in the background and shadows where nothing is cared about. I just thought that I'd try and help you there, but go on.. seek it from somewhere else, someone who actually means something. I just wanted to try and help someone...but, I can't even do that. |
sorry to bring this up, not really the thread for it, or maybe it is...
a few weeks ago adam, if eliza had posted along those lines you would've kicked the shit out of her.
maybe, maybe it is the right thread. |
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Wilkins
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Joined: 30 May 2006
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Location: What?
Sun Jul 08, 2007 5:09 pm |
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Forgiveness isn't an easy road... But it's a road that needs to be travelled
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Jr W
SilverSnake...
Joined: 31 May 2006
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Location: Border City
Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:05 pm |
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You never have to travel the road of forgiveness. It's preferred, but never compulsory. Why, if you don't want to you can just dodge the person.
Call that the "other side of the coin".
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That Guy
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 821
Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:13 pm |
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making my life misreable changing everything just to avoid one person when i could forgive them pfft id forgive em
but hey everybody else is aloud there opinions
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Jr W
SilverSnake...
Joined: 31 May 2006
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Location: Border City
Sun Jul 08, 2007 8:23 pm |
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It's not necessarily my hard and fast opinion, it's just what people overlook. Most opinions here are blanket opinions anyway.
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Powerkiss
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 176
Location: Second to the right! and straight on till morning!!
Sun Jul 08, 2007 9:49 pm |
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| dosthecat wrote: | | Ads wrote: | | And it seems and if my advise is null and void.. there it goes again, a bit like myself, falling in the background and shadows where nothing is cared about. I just thought that I'd try and help you there, but go on.. seek it from somewhere else, someone who actually means something. I just wanted to try and help someone...but, I can't even do that. |
sorry to bring this up, not really the thread for it, or maybe it is...
a few weeks ago adam, if eliza had posted along those lines you would've kicked the shit out of her.
maybe, maybe it is the right thread. |
"Forgivness" ^^^that was yonks ago (not really but it was in teh past) so why not forgive?
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Shara
Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 436
Tue Sep 04, 2007 9:21 pm |
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Forgivness- not one of my strong points.
But i think i have in fact forgiven and forgotten everything, i'm not really angry with anyone, i like all the people i surround myself with, very much. So maybe i am better at forgiving than i first thought, but then you consider how long it's taken to get to this point...but then again, it's over and done with and forgotten about now, nothign is better than that. |
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