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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Tue Apr 10, 2007 5:33 pm |
 Post subject: Eliza's Blog |
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Well hello there. You've stumbled across my thoih blog. Since the section was there, I thought I'd post something within it. I plan on taking a few moments whenever, wherever, to talk about things that have been happening in the wonderful world of Eliza Anne Bellhouse. Come along with me...
I'll start off by having a chat about the past few days with you. It all started on Thursday...
On Thursday, I naughtily skipped school with Shane and went to Brisbane. (Don't tell his mum!) Ahaha. This particular day was good, because we had no time restrictions - we could just make up plans as we went along. We stopped at Roma St station, and decided to head to the parkland. That was really cute. I counted the water dragons. There was nearly 10 of them! I liked looking at the ducks. Shane and I certainly have a LOT of pets to get when we're older. We have a big list already. We should just get a bloody farm.
We wandered around for a while, and then went to Southbank. We were at Southbank for so long! We walked around there, and went on the CityCat thing, which was beautiful by the way. We also went to the Museum, Queensland Art Gallery, Gallery of Modern Art and finally got food. We are so cultured, bahaha. I wanted to play on the playground, so we went there. And I got stuck on the slide briefly. Not long after that, we saw Ellie, Sam, Aron and Klare - we had a brief chat to them before finally they left and then Shane and I went for yet another walk. I wanted to go see a movie, but we didn't have time. We made our way into the city, looked through some shops, before finally meeting Josh, and walking around some more. After that we went to the pancake place, and waited for the others. I felt so sick after that I swear...
It was pretty good hanging with all of you that night. You were all fun. Imagine what the staff of the pancake place would've thought when they saw that concoction on the table! Wow. Bahaha!
Then of course, we all went to the parklands (second time that day for me). I started that race... but sadly, couldn't finish it. I was really sick and tired, and Shane was a bit sick too, so we just turned around and went home before we got too far away from the station.
Friday was a nothing day pretty much. But then Saturday, I went to Shane's house. 'Twas Easter! Yep yep! Shane bought me yummy Easter eggs, and I gave him a block of chocolate (with strawberry in the middle, how did I know?  ) I also gave him a box full of cute little trinkets. Hehe.
Sunday was again a nothing day. Monday was Easter Monday Funday! Bahahahaha! Sooooo, I went over Shane's house again, and at 12:30am, Mr. Wilson drove us to Queen's Park. We first went to the nature walk thing and looked at all the animals. Yet again there were cute animals that we wanted to keep. I touched a snake! It was cooooool. We saw piglets, and they like, kept hitting each other and drilling their faces into the dirt.
We left that and walked into the actual area where the Funday was held... We walked straight in, and straight out, barely looking at anything. We decided to go to the movies. On the way we saw a guy peeing in an alley. What a legend!
Half way there, we stopped at the Ipswich Art Gallery (told you we were cultured) and we looked around. I played on the kids touch screen thing... You can paint pictures with it! So I painted anime, understandably.
We got to the movies, hoping to see TMNT, but... it wasn't on for another hour or so... So we saw Meet The Robinsons instead. It was pretty cool.
"I have a big head, and little arms!" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh yea and, Chris and Ben walked into our cinema. It was a surprise! I didn't expect them to walk in.
By the way, I thought I'd say this, since I'm proud. Monday was the first day that I had worn an item of clothing that showed my legs, in public. I am very insecure, ahaha. Just wanted to say that.
Shane and I went to the arcade outside the cinema and I played Street Fighter, and then Time Crisis, and then Air Hockey... Shane pwned me at Air Hockey... MEANIE.
As for today... I've done nothing in particular... Washed dishes, washed and hung out clothes... tried to play my online game, only to find out that it now doesn't want to work for more than 10 minutes. I made a Nintendo DS layout for my profile on VampireFreaks. And yea...
Tomorrow, I'll be getting on the train during the day and heading to mum's new house. I don't particularly want to go... but I have no choice. I'm going to try and leave there early... maybe Friday... 'cause I don't want to be there! Grr. Aha.
Anyways, that concludes today's blog. Stay tuned for more blogs... although you probably are bored... 
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Tue Apr 10, 2007 7:56 pm |
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Oh yea, and I forgot to mention... On Saturday, we also went to Riverlink in Ipswich. I bought a new dress. And then Shane took me to the boardwalk next to the river. But the water is icky. And everyone in Ipswich walks funny - I don't like it.
Therefore, my cat's breath smells like catfood.
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:56 pm |
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2nd blog entry for the night...
Just wanted to share something...
I've learned in my travels, that wishing for things won't make them real. You have to do something about it, as Shane would say. Complaints won't change things unless you actually get up and back your complaints with actions.
None of this, "Grr I wish they'd just stop talking to me" business, as an example. You have to get up, and think to yourself, "What do I need to do to fix this problem?"
You then go and do whatever it is. Just as long as it's not too illegal. Ahaha.
I used to complain all the time, every day, every chance I could. But now I stop and think, "is this an easy problem to fix?"
Just had to share that.
Thanks.
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Sat Apr 14, 2007 6:01 pm |
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Wednesday was interesting... I had to travel to my mother's house in Lawnton, which is like, past the city... I caught the train there which took close to 2 hours. Before that, I walked to Joel's house to get my phone from Chris. I said my goodbyes to Shane, and headed off...
We got to my mother's place, and tried to look for the key. Dad "forgot" to tell us where the key was... so I ended up ringing him to try and find out... We got the key, got inside, and I had a bit of a lurk around the house, because I'd never been there before. I got settled in, had some food, then went for a swim in the pool. I got a bit sunburnt, it's great!
Mum's house is so big. It's on a acre of land... it has a tennis court, swimming pool, giant garage with a granny flat in it (it has a shower!), a small shed, an aviary(with no birds lol), barbecue area - and that's just outside! Inside is 4 bedrooms, big loungeroom, computer room, some random room with nothing in it, and... yea. I was pleased.
But I found out, at the end of May, mum is moving yet again to Murwillumbah, in NSW... great. They're getting a new job down there... and after 12 months, they'll own the business.. Good for them eh?
Thursday was a slow day... I was home alone (mum and Martin at work, brother at friend's). I tried to entertain myself by watching horrid television and playing gameboy, but I ended up getting lonely... so I tried to look in my phonebook for people to message... everyone I thought of were at youth, and the others, weren't at youth, but I didn't have their numbers... I finally found Patrick on the list and sent him a message. He ended up giving me a ring and I spent a few hours chatting to him about what was on the TV.. exciting.
Friday was pretty much the same, except my brother was home. We went for another swim and I got burned a bit more. Yay I'm developing a tan bro!
And today... my older brother Josh picked me up and we caught a train into the city. We went to West End and went to this cafe thing called The Three Monkeys. It was fabulous. Josh's girlfriend Jess gave me stuff that she bought for me when she was in Japan! I got a pencil, Gloomy Bear toy, a lucky charm and Japan lollies!! Yummy!
We left there and looked at shops and stuff. Then at about 3pm we got back to my brother's unit, I stayed there for an hour and headed back home on the train alone. I got on the train and sat next to a random Asian. I looked over to the other side of the train, and there was Lukas, who was coming back from Supanova. So I sat next to him, talked about the stuff we got, I played gameboy, and we laughed about the pancake incident. Ahaha.
(Shane, I finally found out what happened to the pancake! YAYA!)
Got home... ate springrolls... posted this... ect.
GO ME! I have a migraine, sore ankle and I'm absolutely knackered. Ahahaha. *drinks water*
Until next time...
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Sat Apr 14, 2007 9:49 pm |
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I'm kinda having a mini breakdown right now...
I've just been thinking about things that I've been trying to suppress for a little while...
My mum is moving down to NSW, like I said in my last post... I feel like she just keeps moving away from me... It takes forever to get to her house now as it is.. and now she's moving interstate!? I understand, and am happy for her for the fact that she's gonna be financially stable from then on... but, not to sound selfish, what about me? And more importantly what about my little brother? He needs a steady upbringing... but he keeps having to change schools and houses and all that... It's not fair on him. Not at all. I don't want him to turn out like my other brothers did... I want him to be successful... I want him to finish school, unlike my other brothers... I want him to get good grades... unlike my other brothers... I don't want him to get into alcohol, or smoking, or nearly kill himself - like my brothers did... I'm thinking of him more than I'm thinking about me... I'm the only kid so far who hasn't screwed up, and had to majorly pick up the pieces again...
My older brothers didn't finish school, and therefore mooched off mum for ages, and then had trouble with jobs, and then when they did, they didn't spend their money wisely.. they spend a lot of it on alcohol... They get that off my mum... it's so disappointing... as much as I love them... I was so disappointed...
Anyway... the other thing... While I was out with my brother today.. he kept complaining of nausea and his heart was hurting bad... we thought it was 'cause of the drinking he did the night before... but then he went and threw up.. and after he did, his pancreas started to hurt and he was in agony... He said to me, "It hasn't hurt this much since I was last in the hospital..."
He had to go to hospital a little while ago because... the doctors said he had pancreatic cancer... They said the cancer cells were dead, but they could come back to life... I'm just really scared... what if they have? What if they've come back and he's got cancer again? My brother tries really hard to be healthy (besides the drinking of course) but then this happens...
Sorry... I just needed to talk about that... There's nothing I can do about this... if I could, I would... but I can't... so what now...?
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upendy
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 10:02 pm |
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| Well, I'll be prayin'. |
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Wilkins
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Joined: 30 May 2006
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Sat Apr 14, 2007 10:16 pm |
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Yeah,I will be too... so unfortunate  
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Sat Apr 14, 2007 10:26 pm |
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I prayed so hard tonight...
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dosthecat
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
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Location: Ippie, QLD
Sun Apr 15, 2007 12:37 pm |
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you gotta have faith, eliza.
trust in the Lord, etc. |
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Sun Apr 15, 2007 1:25 pm |
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Yes yes, I know.
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:30 pm |
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Today, I decided that I wanted to go over Shane's house. So I did. I went over there about 1pm. Before I left, I got a phonecall from someone I hadn't spoken to in a long time. His name is Will. We've been friends for a really long time. He moved to Cairns and I never heard from him. But yea.. he called today. It was good to hear from him.
So yea, I got to Shane's hung around for a bit, went to the shop, bought some pepsi and sugar. We sat in the park and all of a sudden Elliot and Nielsen walk up. So we sat with them for a while, and then they buggered off, so Shane and I went back to his place. Elliot and Nielsen stopped by again, and then buggered off again, so Shane and I went to the river. Stayed there until about 6pm, and tried to get up the hill with nothing but the light from my phone to guide us.
We got back to Shane's, watched TV with Mum, and ate satay and rice for dinner. I then got a bit upset 'cause I didn't want to go home.
Tomorrow I'm probably going to go over there again. I really like it over there because I'm happy.
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LastElf
Joined: 24 Feb 2007
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Location: Boovle
Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:39 pm |
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it would have been a third time if you hadn't gone down the river, or had heard me slapping Elliot again 
I say you show up at Shane's around 9amish... wake him up |
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:59 pm |
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He'll be up, don't you worry about that, ahaha. I'm bossy like that.
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dosthecat
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
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Sun Apr 15, 2007 10:53 pm |
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but are you as bossy as shane is lazy?
i'll be taking bets... |
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:36 pm |
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He always gets up an hour before I arrive. I usually arrive at 10am. He gets up at about 9. Gives him time to get ready.
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:05 am |
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Just a couple of feelings I need to get out there tonight.. it's been a very muddled night...
I was happy that Josh was feeling a bit better because of us... but I felt sad... because of the thoughts that must be running through his head... and how hurt he must be...
I've also been thinking tonight... I don't have anyone's footsteps to follow in... I'm creating my own. I used to want to be like my brother... and I still look up to him and he's still the brother I'm closest to... but I don't like the things he does... I won't go into them all... I don't want to put him across as a bad person, 'cause he's not... he's just a bit silly with choices...
But yea... I know now I'm creating my own path. I guess I can say I'm breaking away and doing my own thing...
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Tue Apr 17, 2007 4:46 pm |
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OH YEA... Yesterday! *does this briefly*
Went to Shane's house again. Had fun. Went to the shop 'cause I was craving choccie milk. So I got choccie milk, but only drank two-thirds of it and then said "Shane I feel sick I don't want choccie milk no more."
We fell asleep and I drooled all over myself. Woke up next to Shane. It was nice. I had hand sex with Britty(cat <3) and um... was being silly most of the day...
I had to go home at 5pm. I didn't wanna go. But Shane's dad didn't want us home "alone", even though his mum was there. Oh well.
School today... Oh my gosh... 3 assignments already. This is bollocks. Art, English and Ancient History. At least the Art one is gonna be fun though. I get to distort faces.
Tomorrow I should be heading to Chris' place for RAW... and then I don't think I'll be doing anything else until Saturday - when I take the big step and go to youth. IF dad says yes.
ARE YOU PROUD?
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dosthecat
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
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Tue Apr 17, 2007 4:52 pm |
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not so much proud, proud would imply pride. and i've really nothing to be proud of...
so... yeah...
but it's good you're coming to youth. i'm happy... |
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Thu Apr 26, 2007 7:31 pm |
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As you all probably know by now.. Shane has decided to take a small break from me... I haven't been dealing with it the best... but after having a bit of a talk from Josh, I've seen the light...
I'll take some quotes that he said to me in our convo, and paste them here... so you know what I'm talking about:
| Josh on MSN wrote: |
he likes you too, he just isn't used to having a great girlfriend, sometimes people are a little put off by finding the right person, the idea that they might actually spend their life with someone can be daunting, let him get his head around it
accept it, if you really loved him you'd trust him through this, and not make him feel bad by reacting like its the end of the world
do you think it was easy for him to say he needed a break?
I havent heard much, but to me, all it seems is to be a break |
If I understand that correctly.. it means I'm overreacting about all of this...
I have to cut it out. Or else I'm going to ruin everything.
Complaining more isn't going to solve a thing.
I've never had to deal with this before... I've acted really immaturely... Time to go grow up Eliza. Deal with this like an adult.
As for everything else that's been happening in my life... Um... not much...
I have noticed though, that my dad is starting to be less like an asshole to me. I just said this to Chris on MSN about it:
| Quote: | Eliza says:
Can't really show much emotion unless I'm alone locked in my room. My dad doesn't really let me get upset about things, because he's all like "Fuck 'em, you don't need 'em" and all that stuff... actually, when I told him about Shane and I, that was the first time in a really long time he's actually cared about my relationship with another human hurting me..
And I told him that it was because of my problems, and he was like, "What problems?"
He hasn't realized that all my family problems and stuff is actually effecting the fuck out of me.
jr.w says:
what did he say about shane?
Eliza says:
Nothing bad surprisingly.
I thought he'd be all angry at him.
But like.. tonight I asked if I could go to youth, and he goes "Shane'll be there right?" and I said "yea" and he's like, "I think you should still give him the space." Even though Shane was the one who asked me if I was going..
jr.w says:
not such a bad bloke after all is he
Eliza says:
I'm seeing a change in him.. I'm not sure what it is.. but he's starting to not be such an asshole to me.
He's not yelling at me about everything I ask for anymore..
jr.w says:
how are you after coming home from raw?
Eliza says:
Fine, I just tell him how my night was, and he's like "Ok" and then yea...
jr.w says:
increased positivity?
Eliza says:
Yeah, I guess. |
I'm doing what I can. I've gotta pull my head in.
Thank you.
And please don't misinterpret this post as me bashing myself up or something... it's a blog - it's just thoughts... I know what I need to do... no self bashing...
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Sat Apr 28, 2007 10:50 pm |
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Thursday... school. Followed by walking with Patrick to Booval. We stopped at Hungry's and he bought 2 thick shakes - what an idiot. He'll die from diabetes soon. Bless him. He came to the computer shop with me, and within the first 10 minutes, got into a debate with one of the techies about computers... he doesn't know as much as a PROFESSIONAL, yet chose to argue. So I grabbed him and made him come to the shopping center. He bought some pop-tops and then left, so I was on my own again. I walked through the shopping center - kinda in a daze... and almost cried because so much reminded me of Shane, it was nuts... I bought him a little present and then came home... That night (as stated in the previous post) Josh gave me a bit of a talking to.. so that was beneficial.
Yesterday, Friday, was really up and down for me... I kept as positive as I could throughout the day, keeping in mind Josh's words. After school, I found Chris and we walked to Booval. Same thing as with Patrick, we went to Hungry's, then proceeded to the computer shop. Chris left there and went straight home. I sat in the shop for a while to catch my breath and stuff, and who should walk in? My ex-boyfriend John. It was really odd... He looks straight at me, walks straight up to me (and I was scared) and he looked really serious like he was going to hurt me... but he stops, and smiles - "Hello there! How are you?!"
He's an apprentice cabinet maker now (LOL @ him for leaving school). I quickly passed his conversation onto one of the techies... and asked dad for some money and left quickly to the shopping center. I really did not feel like talking to him. So I went to the shops, bought something else for Shane, plus stuff for myself... Damn me and my impulse shopping!
Today:
This has been one of the most positive days of my life...
It started off with a rather comfortable shower, and turning on this PC..
I sent a message to Shane via sms.. and he gave me the idea that he misses me... it really made my day. I spent most of the day being really creative and making stuff...
I made Shane some MORE presents. I won't go into detail with them though. And then I painted some badges, and got some red felt, and sewed a patch onto my bag for decoration. Not to mention I've been drawing, painting and other stuff as well. My hands really hurt, but it's been worth it.
It's made me so calm. After that I wanted to go to Benny's house. So I did. It was really cold, thank God dad told me to take a jumper. Ben offered me a cuppa, I gladly took it. I love tea. I played with his cat. That cat is amazingly hilarious. It has the softest fur and is quite a pretty cat, except for when it looks at you. It's cross-eyed. LOL. Ben's mum then got home, didn't recognize me with different hair. We went into Ben's room and we watched a bit of TMNT and then we watched Josh's BCT movie.. I lol'd so hard at the acting. It was a great movie to watch. Good job Josh!
I found out a friend of mine on the net is a Christian! I didn't think she was. But hey, you learn something new everyday! She's been a Christian her whole life, she prays every night and everything. It's great!
And to top the night off, to fill me with hope and happiness completely - and even made me cry to an extent because of that happiness... Shane told me he loved me. It meant the most today... I know feel like a huge weight has been lifted... I'm no longer filled with doubt. This break has become easier to handle now.
I might go to bed in a sec. Little bit tired and my back needs a break from all the hunched-over-art today.
Until next time...
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Sun Apr 29, 2007 12:27 pm |
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Woke up today, had my usual shower, then switched on this PC. Quite like yesterday...
I hung out the washing, and then put on another load. I sat back down in here, posted on VampireFreaks and stuff...
Last night, I decided to track down my brother's ex-girlfriend Sarah. I have no idea why. But I found her, it wasn't hard. So I proceeded to add her on MySpace. I think she was surprised. I'm being really snobby to her. I'm not sure what I have to gain but I think she'll be a good venting tool. Ahaha.
I'm awaiting Shane's arrival home, we have some things to discuss.
I attempted to read a script for Drama homework, but it was so annoying to read it's not funny... I got to the end of page 2 and just threw it across the room and folded my arms in a tantrum-like manner.
I've been doing more art today... this whole creative weekend has been pretty good because it's just taken my mind off a lot of things.
I also got bitten by a green ant this morning. I developed a rash on my arm which was really bizarre because I never have a reaction to green ants... but I'm okay now. My arm is fine. Just a couple of red marks from where it actually bit me. Those things are bloody deadly, I swear.
I'm not sure if there'll be a second installment to today since it's only 12:30. I'll just edit this post if there is.
Ciao.
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Tue May 01, 2007 3:27 pm |
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It's over..
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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Tue May 01, 2007 10:02 pm |
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Alright, today hasn't been the best day in the history of days. But it's certainly made me realize a lot.
I've quit the crying, and started thinking. I'm taking a step back (again) and thinking of ways I can improve my own situation as well as my situation with the people around me.
I was talking to my dad, and I was just discussing everything that's happened with Shane, just explaining the general situation, 'cause he just didn't seem to get how it was my fault, how I was being negative, and why I needed to change... So I brought up some stuff I learned on the Australian Christian Channel. I did a recap of it with Ben on MSN. Rather than writing it all again I'll just copy and paste.
I was talking about the whole Shane situation. Because I realize that Shane was also trying to do all this for my benefit.. I think back and wonder why he was being so pushy with me being positive and not bitching and all that... There's two reasons, 1) because if you get yourself into the habit of complaining, you get yourself into a negative lifestyle and frame of mind, and you don't obtain peace. 2) Bitching about someone and what they did, not only puts inquiries from others upon that person, it ultimately causes annoyance for everyone. I've been working on the forgiveness thing, just letting things go that people say. I'm trying to achieve inner peace with myself here. I keep thinking about it, over and over again... why am I so angry all the time? Because I'm doing negative things, I've gotten myself into a negative lifestyle. Shane's done me a lot of good as well as bad.. Good being the pushing me to help myself, bad being leaving me.. but with realization comes a change.. I have said this before, not just to myself but to others.. a change for the greater good.
I'm going to quit my complaining. Most of the dramas I have can be dealt with so damn easy.. but yet I choose to complain, and bitch about it all the time. Just like with the Anastasia problem. All I did was bitch and bitch about how horrible she was and how much I didn't want her in my life... but did I tell her that I didn't want her in my life? No. I just kept letting the problem get bigger and bigger, until eventually it did more damage (to all parties involved) than good.
I dealt with her the wrong way.. I realize that. In the end it just made everyone angry at me temporarily.. Shane, Elliot and Wilkins especially were like, "OH MY GOSH " at me, and pretty much just told me to either deal with it, or shut the fuck up altogether. As soon as she was annoying me, I should have told her to quit annoying me. It would have stopped the issue from getting bigger.
And then she wouldn't have been hurt that I bitched about her behind her back - 'cause I wouldn't have done it.. But I guess what I have to do now is look back on those mistakes, and learn from them. I owe Shane a lot really... I remember I wrote a diary entry in my music book saying "I'm sick of him getting angry at me for complaining so I'm just gonna keep my mouth shut." I never ever took my own advice or anyone else's.. I just let things happen. I've dug myself a big hole, and now I have to get myself out. All I can ask of you guys is to just help me be as positive as I can be until I develop it and can do it all on my own.
I'm not saying I'm going to be completely dependent on you guys, like I can think for myself and all that, I just want a little push in the right direction. Whether it be just giving me scripture to read or downright just telling me to shut the fuck up. Lol.
Seriously sometimes with me it's necessary.. 'cause all I do is complain for the hell of it. I'm an attention seeker. I look for the bad type of attention.
Oh and to top the night off, my brother is in hospital again, the pancreatic cancer is back. May I ask here, that you pray for him. I'm certain he'll be okay, I just want a little back up from the big guy upstairs.
Speaking of the big guy... I've decided to call myself a Christian. Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Eliza Anne Bellhouse is a Christian!
GO ME.
Kthxbai.
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Kung-Fu
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Location: Eliza lives places.
Wed May 02, 2007 10:14 am |
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EDIT: Gah, don't worry!
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Wilkins
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Wed May 02, 2007 4:28 pm |
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Congrats Eliza ... You got all the wisdom you need in the Bible (God in text) and a fair few people that can "translate" / interpret it for you if you need it so.
Once again. Congrats
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Kung-Fu
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Wed May 02, 2007 4:59 pm |
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Please help me... help me have some strength again... I'm gonna ask God to give me the strength to get through all this, could you possibly give me a hand and do it with me?
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Wilkins
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Wed May 02, 2007 5:40 pm |
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A problem shared is a problem halved.. I will do
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Thu May 03, 2007 3:24 pm |
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Okay, I know I said I was going to come to school today... But I ended up just not wanting to get out of bed, and stayed home.
I rang my brother in the hospital. He's doing okay, he sounds like crap though. I told him everything that's happened with Shane and I, what I've done, what I need to fix, and all that stuff. He's a guy, and he's very experienced, so he probably knows the best why Shane made the decision he did and why he's acting like he is now and all that.
I'm still going through the process of changing myself.. but I think it's time I gave up trying to get Shane back. Maybe it's for the best. I'll just be happy to be friends with him. I don't want him out of my life, but I think I have to let go of the dreams of living with him, marrying him and all that childish stuff. As much as I love Shane, I've got to let go. If he doesn't love me, there's nothing I can do.
I know I'm young... I know I've still got ages to find the one. I'm still hurt about it of course. But if he doesn't love the person I am, then there's nothing I can do to change his mind. He's made the choice, and as much as I think it's not the best choice, it's what's right for him I guess. It's still going to be a bit weird for a while, which is understandable because of everything I had with him. I'm still going to try and be a more positive person, because no one will put up with it in the long run. I'll end up losing everyone else too if I keep it up. And I know that God doesn't want me to be an angry soul.
Josh (brother) told me to just take this all in as experience. I learned a lot from Shane, with a lot of stuff. I guess I can just put it all into practice next time I have a relationship. I don't think I'll be looking anytime soon though. This one's knocked me pretty badly. Time heals a lot of things... all I need is time.
Speaking of God, I'll be at youth this weekend. I have to find out if my little brother, Jack, is coming over. If he's coming over, I might invite him. Funnily enough, even though he's not religious or anything, he knows so much about Christianity. I mean, he's even taught ME stuff. A couple of weeks ago, him and I were reading the bible together (even though he was reading it all funny and stuff).
I think little Robert will get along with Jack too. Whenever I see Robert, I see my brother in him.
Anyways.. for some reason, I haven't been able to eat much the last few days. I mean Tuesday I had a muffin and half an apple, Wednesday I had a small plate of pasta and half an apple, and today I tried to eat some spaghetti bolognaise - no luck. Oh and half an apple..
I got bored today, and just felt like something funny tasting. So I looked through the kitchen, and what did I find? The rest of my cough medicine. So I decided to drink it. Don't worry, there was only like 20mL left in the bottle out of 100mL. So yea, I drank it. I feel a bit funny, but I'm fine. I went all skitzo and thought that people were trying to attack the house. But I think that was just my boredom. AHAHA.
Josh made me ring mum and tell her that he was in the hospital. She was like all, "WTF?" on the phone and then was like, "I'll have to ring him then."
I RANG HER AT WORK. 
I've been listening to Planet Shakers. I've been jumping around like a madman. Dad should be buying me a new mouse for my computer too, since mine went nuts, and then I tried another one, and it went nuts as well.
OH WELL.
Okay.
That's all from me.
God blessss.
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Wilkins
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Thu May 03, 2007 5:55 pm |
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Eliza. That is great! ... You sound like me when I broke up with Becky. I was hammered and ripped up. The difference between you and I was that you realise the situation for what it is, and not run away like a girl (as would a normal girl your age, even I did th first time). You are facing up and grinding through, despite the obvious hazards along the way. That gets a BIG tick from me..
Good work
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Thu May 03, 2007 5:58 pm |
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Thanks Wilkins.
It looks like the strong Eliza that I remember way back when is returning.
The whole of last year, I was incredibly strong. Absolutely nothing could completely crush me. I guess when I met someone who I thought I was going to be with forever, I dropped my defenses. So I fell really hard. My brother reminded me of the strong person I usually am. Then I remembered, I can handle this, oh my gosh.
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