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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 09, 2007 9:38 pm |
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ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS ANGELS!!!!!!!!!!
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Jr W
SilverSnake...
Joined: 31 May 2006
Posts: 3785
Location: Border City
Mon Jul 09, 2007 9:41 pm |
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You gonna elaborate or just leave us at that?
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"Knowledge is power, so everybody download some more eBooks" - WBB
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 09, 2007 9:46 pm |
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YOUTH, ANGELS TOUCHED ME!
Ok ok ok, *breathe*
At first I thought it was Penny, because I was crouched on the ground, then I felt a hand on my head. But I asked her and it wasn't her. So I decided to ask for another touch, so yeah, I prayed for it. I was sitting there, head buried in knees, and then I felt hands touch my arms. Startled me it did. I looked around again to make sure that no one was playing a joke, but everyone was too far away to be able to do it.
I told Penny and she's like, "Angellllssss."
So yeah. ANGELS!
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 09, 2007 9:48 pm |
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Double post.
I wasn't actually going to tell everyone, but then Penny and Nielsen started being all "Eliza got haxed by angels" so I just thought, screw it, and yeah.
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upendy
Guest
Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:15 am |
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Lolz those angels like our youth group don't they!
What happened to you probably made my night. WEeeeeee.
EDIT: Yeah, sorry for telling everyone. I was excited/hyper. |
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:29 am |
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It's okay, rofl.
I just kinda feel bad now when I tell people about stuff 'cause it feels like I'm bragging.
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dosthecat
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 2111
Location: Ippie, QLD
Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:25 pm |
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| shush you, feeling bad is stupid. feeling bad is so stupid it's almost naughty... |
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M!LKY
Joined: 03 Aug 2006
Posts: 71
Location: Bundamba
Wed Jul 11, 2007 4:40 pm |
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If you want to tell people of your experience then "brag" away!!  I love hearing about all the encounters and stuff, it brightens my day! |
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Sun Jul 15, 2007 8:10 am |
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I hope the enemy leaves me alone, even for a little while...
I need to build myself up again, so then I can definitely fight him next time...
'Cause right now, I'm in pain, so much... and I've had a gutful.
"LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU'RE THE LIAR!"
- Everytime I say that I get attacked.
I'm not a fake Christian... I DO love God... I'm not a liar.
He's the liar, he's the one that doesn't love God.
What happened? Things were going great, and now all of a sudden I'm finding myself being attacked on a regular basis.
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upendy
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Sun Jul 15, 2007 8:13 am |
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He's an idiot. And you're right, he's the liar. You do love God, I can see that, you're not a fake.
I'll be praying. He's not going to win this. |
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Sun Jul 15, 2007 7:00 pm |
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WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm going mental!
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:04 pm |
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AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm just gonna throw it all away!!
HOW THE HELL CAN I FIX THINGS IF NO ONE EVEN UNDERSTANDS ENOUGH TO HELP ME!?!?
I CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN!!
I TRIED.
I FAILED LIKE I ALWAYS DO.
I'm ready to give up.
Say goodbye to my career.
Say goodbye to my happiness AGAIN.
Thanks a fucking lot dad.
Thanks a lot school.
You do nothing but bring me down.
I feel like running away where no one can find me.
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:19 pm |
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I'm sorry... I'm so messed up right now.
All I want is just to do my own thing, be who I want to be.
But I feel so restrained by school. I can't be the person that I know I can be.
But I have to stick with it, I can't quit or else my life is fucked.
What kinda choice is that?
I'm getting dumber, not smarter.
If you're gonna criticize me, go away. I get enough of that at home.
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Wilkins
Moderator
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3452
Location: What?
Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:44 pm |
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Hey, Eliza. You can talk to me about this ok. I'll be there for you whatever it takes ok. Just give me a holler and I'll be over to your house in an instant.
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:46 pm |
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There's nothing that can be done.
Everyone says, "I'll be there for you." But in reality... it's all on me. All on my shoulders. I'm on my own.
I told dad that he IS going to the parent interview, and we ARE going to complain. I want to at least TRY to get them to do as much for me as they can. My last resort is going to TAFE, where I'll be all alone, with no friends, no fun in-school activities, or anything.
Hell, I'd be happy if they just pushed me up to year 12, so I have some challenges to keep me going. But that's not gonna happen, no way.
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Ads
gtfo - cc
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3778
Location: Wherever the voices tell me.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:16 pm |
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What do you actually expect of the school? I personally think that the school is doing a top-notch job within education. Which is what they are primarly there for, to cater for your education. If they suspected that you had it in you to skip a grade, they would have done something. You're obviously not showing them what potential you have. If its so easy for you, why dont you just do it? Why dont you simply show up to classes and do the best that you can, just to prove to them that you are capable.
Year 12 isn't that easy, hell... the end of year 11 is hard. There were so many people who almost buckled in at the end of year 11 its not funny. So many people were breaking down and almost losing it, because the stress was high. Being constantly pushed for assessment. Its all the same, but 11 is nothing compared to 12.
Eliza, its up to you to get yourself through school, you can't excuse yourself, you can't blame the school. Its all up to ourselves. If you make 'trying your best' your challenge, wouldn't that be an accomplishment? If you dont mind, what type of marks are you getting on your report card?
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♥ yσυ fσґєvєґ вăвy
Burn the Wich!
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:42 pm |
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Don't you think I know that?
I already said it.
| Quote: | | There were so many people who almost buckled in at the end of year 11 its not funny. So many people were breaking down and almost losing it, |
Then you must understand what I'm feeling then huh?
I'm tired of doing the same things over and over again.
I'm tired of not learning a single thing because I've done it all.
I'm tired of having to be like everyone else.
But you know what? I'm not gonna bother explaining how I feel anymore. It's obvious that no matter what I say, it won't be about how I feel, just how everyone else sees it. Everyone will just assume everything. I'm hopeless, I'm a burden, I get it. I just needed to rant. Because I'm HURTING okay? I didn't want all this okay? I fucked up.
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Wilkins
Moderator
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3452
Location: What?
Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:44 pm |
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We all screw up Eliza, and no you are not a burden. What makes you think that?? 
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:47 pm |
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Because I always get the feeling that you all just want me to shut up.
"You're not the only one with problems."
I know that I'm not the only one... but I want to stop hurting.
I have been hurting for so long.
And now I've just given up. But again, no one sees all that, they just see the fact that I'm failing now and get up me for it. No one understands the reasons.
Oh and I'd like to add something about the education level... how come my English teacher can't spell or use punctuation properly?
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Ads
gtfo - cc
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3778
Location: Wherever the voices tell me.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:19 pm |
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Okay.. Believe it or not, I was trying to get on good terms with you, try and achieve somewhat of an understanding with you. Just seems that you dont want to, that its impossible to understand things from where I'm standing and you just want to pick flaws at what i've said. Eliza, so many of us know what year 11 is like, we understand. If its all so easy Eliza..Why are you failing?
Use your headz...everyone on here has such great potential, that means you too Eliza. It takes a lot, just stick it out. You can do it.
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♥ yσυ fσґєvєґ вăвy
Burn the Wich!
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:27 pm |
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And like I said, I'm sick of explaining.
I'm failing for personal reasons as well.
At the end of last term it wasn't just school that was causing it. I was having a major crisis. I used to be able to stick it out, but now it's not that easy.
I'm at that stage at the moment, where I am having a bloody breakdown and no one can see it.
It was hurt after hurt after hurt.
And now I can't take it anymore.
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Mr Mittens
Moderator
Joined: 02 Jun 2006
Posts: 1500
Location: Ireland
Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:33 pm |
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Then what do you want us to do?
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:36 pm |
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Like I said, I'm just ranting.
I rarely ask you all for advice these days, 'cause I get the same stuff all the time. "Suck it up."
Not that simple.
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Wilkins
Moderator
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3452
Location: What?
Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:38 pm |
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Shane, Adam.. Just let her rant.
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You used to be like my twin |
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:50 pm |
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I'll say this publicly for effect:
Thanks for being understanding Wilkins. It's good I have someone to rant to, and that you know exactly what I mean when I say it.
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Ads
gtfo - cc
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3778
Location: Wherever the voices tell me.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:51 pm |
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Going back to my quote... "Everything said has meaning behind it".. Jokes and what not. Making a humorous insult towards someone, "for the lolz", whatever is said, it has to have a basis of meaning behind it. I dont think rants are any different. It doesn't sound like a rant to me, it sounds like Eliza is bailing her emotions and feelings about school onto thoih. Rather than anyone having a "i've had a gutful" rant. Whatever is said has pure meaning and emotion behind it. It does help to have some feedback to them aswell.
So, I'm not prepared just to "let her rant", when I could try and see things from her side of view, when I can attempt to understand how things are and understand the situation. Eliza, I dont know terribly much about your background, your family and what not, but from what I have pieced together, things dont seem to peachy. I think we have all experienced what that is like at some time.
I know for a fact that my grades went right down in year 11, my normal A's and B's dropped down to C's and a few D's. I know exactly what thats like, it was due to personal reasons. Like I said, I dont know your situation, but there is always room for improvement. Sometimes I feel like i'm going through a major crisis where noone is accepting responsibility and it feels as if I have to control the situation because no one else is. I know what its like Eliza, I know what its like to be going through a rough patch. Having someone to talk to, it can really make you weak at the knees. Colapsing, it almost seems degrading, but I think it helps.
Life isn't too friendly at times, but we have to stick it out. What makes it better is when we have friends to help us through it, because we are the only ones that can really do something about it. There is a huge difference between 'sticking it out' by yourself and with your friends. I know if I didn't have Debbie and you lot as friends... I would have found it so extremely hard to cope with things here. But i've learnt thats what we have friends for, to help each other out.
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♥ yσυ fσґєvєґ вăвy
Burn the Wich!
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:57 pm |
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If I wasn't sticking things out, I would've gone and killed myself or something by now.
I've put up with shit my entire life, and now I'm finally stopping and letting it all out. This is my time.
Thanks for trying to understand, rather than just criticizing me or telling me to suck it up like others have done in the past. Most of my life I've just sucked things up or hidden them because daddy said it was best. I'm tired of doing that.
"Dear diary, mood: apathetic..."
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Wilkins
Moderator
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3452
Location: What?
Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:40 pm |
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Nah, Eliza... just let out your emotions ok. It's better for your long term health. Trust me
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Kung-Fu
Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Posts: 997
Location: Eliza lives places.
Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:47 pm |
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Know what is gay? If I get more angry about this (trust me, I could get more angry) then I'll probably get told that the enemy's doing that to me.
That's the last thing I need actually... 'cause he's already been giving me hell recently.
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That Guy
Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 821
Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:12 pm |
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| Quote: | | then I'll probably get told that the enemy's doing that to me. |
yeh it made me a bit angry when people said that about my depression n stuff its just sortf of he cant make me be like that it is a bit stupid but meh .
and who wants you to shut up i just want to listen most of the time because youve helped me through a real heap, but ive sort of stopped youre dealing with youre stuff you dont need mine 
i just hope you sort stuff out 
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